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There are two basic models for how to approach a girl – the ‘courtship’ model and the ‘attraction’ model. When you court a woman, her natural response is to run. So instead of focusing on how to woo her, focus on sparking her attraction. Courting is what you do, what you offer, and what you give – like gifts, dinners, flowers, compliments. Attraction is how you communicate, who you are, and your masculine identity. Courting is facing the challenge…attraction is being the challenge. So start attracting…and you won’t believe how it can transform your success with women.

There’s no doubt about it, body language can be more important than the words you use when you’re looking to attract a woman. Most guys destroy any chance of success by projecting nervous, submissive, or even apologetic body language and tone-of-voice when they are figuring out how to approach a girl. All of these behaviors send the signal that they aren’t ready to be her ‘Mr. Right’ – which instantly shuts down a woman’s receptiveness to being approached. Vicious cycle, right? However, once a man paves the way to connecting with a woman by losing the nervous twitches, sustaining eye contact and speaking, strongly, slowly and clearly, he’s halfway to winning her full attention. Act confident and you will be confident.

Everyone appreciates thoughtful actions and it’s important to continuously surprise her. Catch her unaware with that fetching coat she has been eyeing, a message on her work voicemail or a note in her bag lunch. This not only keeps her guessing but it will brighten her day and put you to the top of her mind.

You shouldn’t only wonder how to make a woman love you, but how to get her family on board, too. It’s important to woo her friends and family, since her circle will be the first to comment on your worthiness of her attention. This means taking time to get to know their names, their backgrounds, their stories and how they all fit into the puzzle of her life. Though you don’t need to take notes or go overboard too quickly, paying attention when she shares intimate stories will help her feel safe with you.

Okay, okay, falling in love is about connecting on deeper levels and having important conversations and shared values. But it’s also about having fun when you’re together! If you can’t put your guard down, make jokes, try goofy activities together and release stress, then she won’t feel comfortable around you. After all, there’s something empowering about knowing your partner is equally as weird and ridiculous as you are.

The rules on how to make a woman fall in love are tainted with regulations and roadblocks. While there are many schools of thought on the best way to communicate after dates, there is one piece of solid advice you should always follow: don’t ghost her! Old school philosophy says to wait a few days but if you’re crazy about the girl and you want to make sure she knows you’re interested in another date, there’s nothing wrong with texting her the next morning to ask her about Saturday night. And after you’ve been on ten dates? And slept together? Keep in constant communication so she feels secure in your affection.